Dating apps have made it easier than ever to meet new people, but they may also be reshaping how we think, feel, and relate to ourselves.
Therapists around the country are warning that the emotional and psychological effects of prolonged dating app use can be more damaging than many users realize.
Behind the polished profiles and endless scrolling is a cycle that often leads to burnout, lowered self-esteem, and persistent feelings of loneliness.
This emotional wear and tear can begin subtly.
What starts as an exciting new way to connect can, over time, shift into something more exhausting than uplifting.
According to a report by The Washington Post, therapists describe the dating app experience as emotionally draining, particularly for those already managing anxiety or depression
Licensed therapist Paul Hokemeyer explains that the constant need to engage—swiping, messaging, and waiting for replies—consumes energy and creates a pattern where rejection feels personal, even when it isn’t.
This emotional fatigue is compounded by a neurochemical loop that mimics addictive behavior.
Apps are built to keep users engaged through dopamine feedback, delivering quick hits of validation with each new match.
But those fleeting highs are often followed by lows, leaving users chasing the next connection in an endless cycle.
It’s not only the constant availability of matches that contributes to mental strain, but also the transactional nature of interactions.
Reducing romantic potential to photos and bios can leave users feeling commodified, which may erode confidence and warp expectations of intimacy and connection.
Some users have responded by adopting what therapists call the “Burned Haystack” method.
Instead of casting a wide net, they get hyper-specific about their goals and preferences, filtering out incompatible profiles early.
This approach may yield fewer matches, but mental health experts say it can also reduce the emotional toll and prevent fatigue.
Therapists encourage dating app users to practice digital self-awareness.
That includes checking in regularly about how the apps make you feel, limiting time spent swiping, and resisting the urge to equate app-based attention with real-world value.
For some, deleting the apps—either temporarily or permanently—can be a helpful way to recalibrate their expectations and emotions.
And for others, therapy may offer tools to navigate online dating more consciously and constructively.
As licensed therapist Jeff Guenther explains in a recent video,
Dating apps can be part of a healthy romantic strategy, but only when used with intention and boundaries.
Online dating is unlikely to disappear, and in many ways, it has opened doors for people who might otherwise struggle to meet potential partners.
But as the digital landscape evolves, so must our approach to protecting mental and emotional well-being.
Love might be just a swipe away—but so is burnout.
And taking care of your mind should always come before chasing the next match.