These days, texting is the primary way we communicate while dating—especially in the early stages when attraction is still building and impressions are fragile.
But as convenient as messaging may be, it comes with its own pitfalls.
Text the wrong thing at the wrong time, and you risk turning someone off before the date even happens.
According to dating coach Blaine Anderson, there are three types of texts that consistently make women lose interest—and they’re more common than you might think.
Anderson, who runs the successful coaching platform Dating by Blaine.
Explains that men often unintentionally send messages that either seek too much validation, show a lack of planning, or come off as overly sexual.
One of the biggest mistakes? Asking “When can I see you?”
On the surface, it sounds like interest. But what it communicates is uncertainty, or even neediness.
Instead of fishing for her availability, take the lead.
Plan something. Suggest a day and an activity. That shift alone signals confidence and intent—two traits that are far more attractive than passive energy.
Another common misstep is texting “Wanna come over tonight?”—especially before you’ve established a romantic connection.
Even if your intentions are pure, this message can read like a hookup proposition.
And if that’s not the tone you’re trying to set, it can backfire completely.
Anderson explains more in viewed over 1.2 million times, where she breaks down exactly why women tend to interpret these kinds of messages as red flags.
The third text she warns about? Asking “Do you like me?”
While it may feel vulnerable or sweet, it often reads as insecure.
Anderson puts it simply: if she’s texting you back, she’s interested.
There’s no need to ask for reassurance when her engagement already speaks volumes.
Confidence in dating isn’t about pretending you don’t care—it’s about trusting the dynamic as it unfolds.
This mindset is something Anderson emphasizes across her coaching practice.
She teaches that dating is not luck or charm—it’s a skill.
And like any skill, it can be improved with feedback, consistency, and a willingness to learn.
In a recent interview with Men’s Health, she shared that most men she works with aren’t hopeless romantics or natural flirts—they’re just guys who were never taught how to connect with intention.
Even small changes in language or tone can make a dramatic difference.
That’s what makes her advice so effective.
It’s not about playing games—it’s about communicating in a way that aligns with what women respond to emotionally.
If you’re still unsure whether your messages are helping or hurting your chances, you’re not alone.
Research from the Pew Research Center found that nearly one-third of U.S. adults under 30 say texting misunderstandings have directly affected their dating lives.
With stakes that high, it’s worth getting this part right.
Dating today isn’t harder than it used to be—it’s just different.
When done right, texting can build attraction, showcase confidence, and move things forward.
But it all depends on how you show up on screen.
Choose your words with purpose.
Avoid the needy, vague, or overly intimate messages that send the wrong signals.
And when in doubt, lead with clarity and respect.
It’s not about being perfect.
It’s about being intentional.
That’s what creates real chemistry—from the very first text.